Monday, November 19, 2007

Its not our minhag (custom), Ok?





Dreams of a curly girlie are no more. I can nary delude myself as I play with his soft ringlets. Gone are the days when my Yisroel Meir could have been mistaken for a.................He's joined the fray with his locks no longer.


My baby got a hair cut. And he looks sooooooo big! Even my big boys have started treating him like a kid (and not a baby). He's received his fair share of punches and pushes this week. But fear not, he learned very quickly how to dole them out as well. Jason has been encouraging me to do this for a while now. "He's a boy," he said. "He should look like one". In theory, I totally agree. (I mean, what's to disagree with already? I was at his bris.) As for maintaining the 'boy look', that's a bit more complicated. (And, no, this is not about my daughter fantasy!!!!) See, In these parts, you almost never find a boychik under 3 without a pony-tail. This is a minhag (custom) that apparently originated in the Sefardi community.



Its based on a sentence in the Torah that compares man to a tree. Just as a new tree is not cut until the completion of its third year, a baby boy's hair is treated the same. This is totally custom and NOT law. (the kid part, not the tree) After a while, this custom caught on amongst the Chassidim as well. Well, the litvaks (that would refer to non-chassidic ashkenazi Jewry) saw everyone doing it and thought it was cute (maybe it was a bunch of moms who only had boys????) so they decided to do it too.

So now most everyone does it, especially in Israel. Everyone except the Svei's. Litvaks to the core, and proud of it, we do not practice customs that are not our own. (lest we should G-d forbid be confused for chassidim!!!!)* At least I'm in good company. Our Svei cousins maintain the same position. Svei pride aside, I'm left with a problem on the day-to-day. My boys are the only kids that, under the age of three, actually look like boys. And the questions abound!
"Wow, you cut his hair?" (Was that a statement or a question?)
"Yep. Our custom is not to wait until 3."
"Your custom is specifically NOT to wait until 3?"
"No, there is no law that dictates waiting until 3. That's a custom, but not OUR custom."
"Are you sure it isn't law?"
"pretty sure. My husband is a fan of keeping the laws. This he wont let me do."
"He won't let you?"
"Nope. He doesn't want people to mistakenly think its a law.............even if it is cute."

"Let them ask," he tells me. Very easy for him to say. He's not the one fielding questions all day long. Reason #1,240,653 why I'm ready for a girl!



*That was a joke. We really love Chassidim!